14.3 Coping with Death

I'm going to steal some portions of my response to Cooper to write this entry.

When I was 4, my paternal grandfather died, so I don't remember that. When I was 15, my maternal grandfather died. It was sad...but i wasn't heartbroken. In 2003, my maternal grandmother died. Again, I was sad, but it didn't break my heart. These were not moments with which I had to cope. I felt worse for my mom in those situations, than I did for myself. 

But then in college I made friends with this awesome kid. His name was Lance.  He was from Auburn, Maine which is right next to Lewiston, Maine.  Lewiston is well-known for being dirty and having less-than-reputable individuals within its borders.  Knowing that Auburnites saw themselves as superior, I immediately began to hassle him about how awful Auburn was in relation to Lewiston.  (The great part to this was that I had never stepped foot in either town).  Lance took great offense to this, and somehow all of our ridiculous insults back and forth to each other turned into a friendship.  From there, he quickly became one of my best friends and was just a blast to be around. My roommate and I, aside from being friends ourselves, didn't often agree on other people to hang out with--Lance was the exception.

Things took a nasty turn, however, during my senior year,when Lance died. And as I type this, I get this chill over my body, because it makes me so friggin sad that he's gone. I never had to cope with my grandparents dying...but I really have to cope with Lance dying.

I guess part of it is that he was young and should have lived so much longer. Part of it, too, was that I thought we had a lot more time together (we were going to open a burger restaurant...). So to cope...well, I guess I just try to think about the good things.

What's my point? I guess sometimes we just don't get sad. And then, one day, when one person dies, we finally are.